Father I can’t Breathe
Living Broken Again BLOG By Susan Vaughan Shumake
July 11, 2022 / April 27, 2023
*****
Father I can’t Breathe inside this place of Brokenness. I can’t move without You. I can’t Do without You. I can’t Go without You.
What is the lesson I am supposed to be learning? What have I not heard? Teach me in Your Word. What it is I need to know?
I know that You have brought me here for a reason. For a season. Living in Pain. Breathing in Pain. Walking in Pain. Teach me Your ways oh LORD that I might learn to Walk in them.
I’m Bound by Brokenness. Waiting for my body to recover. What is it that You want for me to understand to be free? What is it You are teaching me?
Six months. January to June, now 16 months. Now Living Broken and crushed by the weight of it. Separate and apart. Set apart and alone.
I don’t understand what it is You intended for this place. What are you teaching me? Father speak to me. I know You hold Heaven and Earth in your Hands and are Ominous and Omniscient and Grand.
There is no place for me to even stand among Your people. You are Perfect and Holy and True. I am thankful to walk before You. You can blow me right into dust. Remove dross from the earth.
You are King and Worthy of Worship. You are Awesome and Wondrous in your Beauty. We are all helpless and hopeless without You . God the grass even bows before You.
You are Mighty in Power and Honor. Before You there is no other. Let man bow humbly and seek You, that we may find Grace and Compassion within You.
You are Lovely and I am lowly and nothing before You. Let me walk Humbly before You . Let Your Mercy grant Forgiveness and Salvation, Purity and Sanctification.
There is none Greater than You Oh Holy Father. Let us all seek Your Face in Glorious Worship. May we reach the ears of Your Mercy and be Granted one more Breath in the morning. A Breath for Life. Without You we are Breathless. Without You I am Breathless.
Oh Most Holy One of Heaven, let me hear Your Healing Heart. Speak to Your Daughter of the Dance. Give me just another chance. Let the Beauty of Your Heart be revealed. Let my own Brokenness be Healed.
Forgive me for my Impatience. Wrap me Lord in your Gracefulness. I lift my eyes unto Your Hills for Your Help. Grant me patience and endurance. Surround me with Your Faithfulness.
You are Worthy of our Praise. You are Worthy all our Days. Numbered are our days in this place. Let me hear the message of Your Voice. What have I done to earn this Fire I face?
Show me my Sin and Strengthen me by Your Grace. I am helpless here without Your rescue. I bow before Your throne in disgrace. Desperate without Freedom in this place.
You are Holy and I am not. There is nothing any of us can do without You. Life is a gift. Breath is a Gift. Brokenness is a Gift. Beauty is a Gift. Healing is a Gift. Jesus is a Gift.
Your Beautiful Daughter Susan, Recovering Beauty
*****
