12. THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS – UNFORGIVENESS OF THE HEART / THE BROKENNESS: Our Emotional, Physical & Spiritual CONDITION

https://mybeautifulbeliever.com/podcast-player/5545/12-the-root-of-bitterness-unforgiveness-of-the-heart-the-brokenness-our-emotional-physical-spiritual-condition

THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS – UNFORGIVENESS OF THE HEART Episode 12

THE BROKENNESS: Our Emotional, Physical & Spiritual CONDITION



Trapped by Unforgiveness 


Fences and defenses
Walls and hurtful words
We think they will protect us from the pain

Closing off all avenues
Shutting off our love
Never will we be so hurt again

Locked within our fortress
Isolation reigns
Loneliness becomes our closest friend

Withdrawal and rejection
Bitterness and Hate
Trapped by Unforgiveness in the end

THE ROOT OF BITTERNESS - UNFORGIVENESS OF THE HEART Episode 12

THE BROKENNESS - Our Emotional, Physical & Spiritual CONDITION


Hebrews 12:14-15 (KJV)

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord; Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”

I was here. In this place of Brokenness, in this place of Bitterness. Trapped by Unforgiveness in the end. After years of living with this Raging Angel, 14 years, 15 years, 16 years, I lost heart, and I lost hope, and I harbored Hatred in my heart. I hated this man whom I had married. I hated myself for marrying him. I hated God’s plan for my life! What was this Life, anyway?

I hated my Testimony. I hated my Story. I was ashamed of being THIS person. I was ashamed of marrying someone who screamed, and raged, at me all the time. I was ashamed in front of my friends. I was ashamed in front of my family. I was ashamed in front of my church. I WAS the SHAME of my husband. Voiceless.

This was what I had chosen. This Person. This Man. This man, who called himself a Believer, and wanted to be an Evangelist, yet took the LORDS' Name in vain, every day. This man, who spoke to me with disdain, every day. This man, who called himself a Believer, yet was the ultimate Deceiver, who manipulated, abused, and controlled me? I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. What had I Believed? I had been Deceived. This was my Life. What was I to do?

He hurt my heart. Piercing it over, and over, again, with his words. With his raging, and accusing Darts! I prayed to God to show me how to Love him. I prayed to love him. I prayed God would Heal his Broken heart. I prayed God would change him. I prayed God would change me. I prayed desperately for help, for help, but there was no help. My God, My God, Why have You forsaken me?

How could this be my Reality? I was trapped in a Trauma I never anticipated. I, being tenderhearted, never really raising my Voice, coming from a family that never really raised their Voices, couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Screaming. Demeaning. Then, there would be Silence. Every day. Day after day after day. How could I be treated this way? How could this be, God’s perfect Will for me? I hated my life. A Silhouette of Suffering. Just like Jesus.

I stopped believing The Beautiful, and began believing The Brokenness. I became Marah. I called myself Marah to the Lord, just like Ruth, in the Bible. Bitter Waters.

In my heart I was Marah. He knew the trauma, the tragedy, and the Rage of the prison I was living in, which for the most part, I hid from the world around me. Hid from those who were The Beautiful Ones, because I was The Broken One. I was the Bruised, and Abused One. I was the One. God had Chosen this for me. I was Chosen to suffer.

With every ripping word of Rage, with every Angry altercation, with every smash of a wall, or slam of a door, I became undone. I became un-beautiful. I became unworthy. I became Broken.

I lived in FEAR of a man I was supposed to LOVE. I couldn’t LOVE him. I became The BITTER. I became The HATER. He became my Enemy.

Isaiah 1:4-6 (KJV)

“Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward. Why should ye be stricken any more: ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrefying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. “

Deuteronomy 7:15 (KJV)

And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon them that hate thee.

Deuteronomy 28:15 (KJV)

“But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statues which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and over take thee.”

Hosea 4:6  (KJV)

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that you shall be no priest to me: seeing you have forgotten the law of your God, I will also forget your children.”

Nehemiah 9:2-3 (KJV)

“And the seed of Israel separated themselves from all strangers, and stood and confessed their sins, and the iniquities of their fathers. And they stood up in their place, and read in the book of the law of the Lord their God one fourth part of the day; and another fourth part they confessed, and worshipped the Lord their God.

Jeremiah 2:9, 17-19  (KJV)

9 Wherefore I will yet plead with you, saith the Lord, and with your children's children will I plead.

17 Hast thou not procured this unto thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God, when he led thee by the way?
18 And now what hast thou to do in the way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river?
19 Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord God of hosts.

In the Book of Jeremiah, Jeremiah tells us we have brought this upon ourselves, because we have FORSAKEN the Lord, our God. He tells us, our own Wickedness will correct us, and our Backslidings will rebuke us. We will Reap the consequences our SIN, Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually. We will also KNOW and SEE it as an EVIL and BITTER thing, when we have forsaken the Lord, when THE FEAR OF GOD is not in us.

You must be able to SEPARATE people from their SIN. We were not created by God with Sin. We were created by God as Saints, Holy, and Beautiful before Him Eternally. We have Become separated from Him because of The Brokenness, because of SIN. SIN SEPARATES.

You are His Beautiful Believer, yet even as Believers, after we are converted through Faith in Jesus Christ, we still need to learn about Sin, and the hold it has on our lives, and the Process of The Sanctification of the Heart.