Working for Your Grace
By Susan Vaughan Shumake
*****
Intimacy, that’s all that I wanted.
Living my every moment for you.
Working my way to get into your graces.
Trying my hardest to get close to you.
All of my efforts were simply to bring me
into your arms so I could be loved.
Wanting to please you so you would receive me,
I struggled to gain your acceptance and love.
Feeling unworthy, I searched for the answer
following patterns that others had lain.
Trying to find that kind of Communion
that soothes condemnation and ceases the blame.
Prayer without ceasing and quoting of Scripture,
Spiritual battle and Service to all.
I tried everything to come into your Presence,
yet the harder I’d climb, the harder I’d fall.
Misunderstanding and somewhat misguided
I yielded, believing, to Spiritual lies.
Naive and seeking, I opened myself to
be led and encouraged by those with blind eyes.
Seeking what they had, I prayed you would use me.
I measured your love by the gifts you’d bestow.
Thinking that this was the way you responded;
LOVE shown by degree of Supernatural flow.
I waited for visions of great revelation.
I strained for that voice that I needed to hear.
I received as rejection the silence to follow,
believing I’d failed so you wouldn’t draw near.
All that I needed was the chance to be near you,
needing the closeness that Fatherhood brings.
Wishing for love so strong I could feel it–
Love wrapping around me like angel’s wings.
Forgive me Lord Jesus, for all of my blunders,
for all of the sins and mistakes I have made.
God know my intentions and grant me your mercy
by taking my hand and leading the way.
Show me the Truth that I might come to know you.
Seeing you Intimately with my heart.
Draw me into the love I have longed for.
The right foundation, to make a new start.
*****
